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They get their drink on at the local Susukino watering hole called Booty. The way he approached me, he just had all the qualities I was interested in. He was attractive, older than me and seemed serious. Yet he was super-kind and gentle — though some people think he looks scary.

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But none of it was ever really serious or fruitful. And, I was much more into using Japanese back then. Anyway, I dunno, it just worked out.

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Worked out so well that they went on their first date the following evening, and by the end of the week Daisuke had confessed that he wanted Amanda to be his girl. I have a degree in education and I really wanted to work with foreign students, and Japan was the easiest place to get in.

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But life literally changed the moment I met him. A couple of months later he told me that his job was transferring him down to Fukuoka and asked me to come with him.

I put all my trust in him and came down here. Five months later, in MarchDaisuke rewarded her trust and they were married, with a baby on the way to boot.

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And with him being this typical Japanese guy, being really quiet and not having much to say, only exacerbated Asian women seeking black men communication barrier. When he met my mom, they were also in an intercultural relationship. But, initially, this stress, compounded by feelings of loneliness, isolation and being the focal point of intense scrutiny, was doing a number on her. Consequently, the normally outgoing Amanda acquired a mild case of agoraphobia and became something of a shut-in, and wound up gaining a lot of weight.

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There are women here who are dieting before their doctor appointments because they fear the doctors will give them hell for gaining too much weight. In fact, the reason my daughter was born the day she was is because she was induced a week early.

And me being naturally bigger, I felt like I was always being compared to them. Amanda has learned a great deal through these hardships, and shares her wealth of knowledge and experience through her blog and YouTube channel.

Men are just men.

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A lot of girls are just so fascinated about that. I told her the same was true for many Western men here — that many fetishize Japanese women, and the reverse was true as well.

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So a lot of black women kinda side-eye white girls who flaunt their relationships with Asian men. If a Japanese guy is going to date a foreigner, this is what a beautiful foreigner is: There are even articles that say black women and Asian men are ranked the least desirable.

As for advice to women looking to land a great guy like Daisuke, she recommends taking the time to get to know yourself and taking a page out of that Japanese gaman perseverance handbook. This column — part three of my series on black women with Japanese beaus and biracial children — will be the last, for now.

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The response has been tremendous, exceeding my expectations by a damn sight! Amanda blogs at ramandab-daisuki.


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